before and since: metastatic breast cancer

One of the discussion groups I frequent was discussing how we’ve changed since our encounter with breast cancer. It got me to thinking about how things were then and now.

then: having energy to spare, often working 14 hours
now: falling into coma-like sleep as soon as I stop moving

then: dancing, turning, jumping, leaping–the more I did, the more energy I had
now: dancing ten minutes at the most now, sans turns, jumps, leaps; balance has left the stage

then: enjoying hour-long walks during the week and several hours on weekends
now: ambling along with my walker, unstable enough to fall over, needing to pace myself so I can make my return trip

then: squirming into weird shapes with yoga or just waking up
now: wearing a TLSO brace to keep my back from bending or twisting and rolling like a log in bed without it

then: cooking with glee, experimenting with new foods, new tastes
now: avoiding most cooking that involves chopping more than a clove of garlic

then: enjoying spicy food
now: eating bland food to avoid irritating sore mouth

then: enjoying the taste of so many delicious meals
now: unable to sense most tastes because my taste buds are numb

then: remembering names, phone numbers, directions
now: forgetting everything before you finish your sentence

then: being dexterous and coordinated
now: dropping objects and unable to pick up pieces of paper because my fingers are numb

then: loving spontaneous moments for going out or being amorous
now: hating having to plan, plan, plan for every nuance

then: being able to plan an outing
now: avoiding advance planning because you may be unable to get up let alone go out

then: always comfortable to warm in our lovely SoCal temperatures
now: freezing all the time no matter how warm it is

then: a head full of thick, curls
now: patent leather head

then: thinking I’d dance until I was 90
now: planning to surprise my doctors with my longevity

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© 2004-2009 Donna Peach. All rights reserved.