Buster’s progress report: brace command

I worked; Buster slept. That was how the day went with Buster accompanying me for a full day at work. He seemed to remember the environment from the other day when I took him to the office, so, it appeared, he took no mind of anyone coming or going or stopping by to say hi or to offer a compliment on his easy-going nature. From the time we arrived till the time we left, he simply hugged the floor in the corner of my office, alternately dozing and minding his own business.

At lunch, instead of eating at my desk, I got a sandwich and went outside to enjoy the beautiful sunny day. Our building has a small courtyard in the back that is usually quiet and smoke free, so we headed there so I could relax and Buster could sniff the bushes and watch the birds. It was a perfect break in the day.

I think I mentioned I’m looking for a harness for Buster to wear for supporting me when I need steadying. Interestingly, I’m wondering whether I need to impose that on him. He has mastered the command to brace whether he’s sitting–to help me to stand up from a crouching position–or standing–to help steady me while walking. Because he’s so tall and I’m short, my reach to his shoulder for support while standing is perfect. Every time I give him the brace command, he immediately responds by widening his stance and visibly getting ready for me to press, always gently, on his shoulder. I will continue my research on harnesses, but I’m considering the option of not having Buster wear one.

Finally, as a novice  trainer, I am learning more every day. I have learned to stop his training as soon as I detect signs of his losing interest. In fact, I feel that I now sense when we’ve peaked in a lesson and usually try to end the training session then. Most important during his training, we have fun. I know it may sound silly to someone who has not had the experience of training a companion dog, but I can tell that he likes what we’re doing. Each time I take his service vest off the hanger, he wags his tail and comes to me, nuzzling my leg and following me until I say, Buster, sit, so I can put the vest on him. He may not speak to me, and may never speak to me, but I believe he understands when I speak to him. Or, maybe he has simply learned to be polite.

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H1N1 vaccine: got mine

I woke up today with a rude good morning from my tummy. It’s funny how the side effects can seem like they’re fading one day only to come bashing down the door the next. It lasted a few hours and then calmed down. Good thing, too, because I needed to get my H1N1 flu shot today.

A couple of days ago Marvin and I had looked up the availability of H1N1 vaccines online and found that WalMart was going to be sponsoring Mollen Immunization Clinics today. We headed over there and were amazed at the lack of crowds.We found the table and completed the paperwork. As I sat there, I overheard the nurse telling someone that this was the seasonal flu shot, not the H1N1 shot. What the heck. Marvin got the seasonal flu shot, though, so it was not a complete waste of time.

While he was getting his shot, a few women in line gave me some information that led me to search online for another H1N1 distribution. I found that El Camino College in Compton was giving the H1N1 vaccine today. So, we headed out the door for Compton. After hearing about the fiasco in Redondo Beach, we weren’t sure what to expect. When we arrived, we saw a huge line that disappeared behind one of the campus buildings. We thought it would be hours to get through the line; feeling still a bit weak from the rough morning, I wasn’t sure I would be able to tolerate it. Heading one way, Marvin sought out help from the volunteers while  I headed the opposite way toward the back of the line. Marvin came after me to tell me not to go to the back of the line but to the front, where they handed us forms to complete. From there it was a breeze right into the large room filled with tables and nursing students who were administering the vaccines. In one small, well-defined area they offered the nasal spray vaccine; the rest of the room was designated for the shot. With swift processing we both were inoculated and headed out the door. With my being immune suppressed and in active treatment, Marvin qualified as my caregiver and was able to get the vaccine as well.

Kudos to El Camino College, Compton, for a streamlined process. The line moved quickly, and the volunteers were readily available to answer questions. I am now ready for any kind of flu, though I hope not to encounter any of it.

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H1N1 vaccine tomorrow

Tomorrow I get my H1N1 vaccine–the shot which has the inactivated virus rather than the nasal spray with the live virus. I’m prepping myself for waiting in line at the local WalMart. I’ll take a mask with me since it’s a guarantee that the place will be mobbed.

Although I’m feeling stronger, I still have an abundance of raging side effects, which, as usual, I’m doing my best to ignore. It still amazes me that I can sit down in the evening and immediately slip into a deep sleep. Last night I was out cold for two hours. Tonight, it was no different, but at least, before that, I got in about twenty minutes of mellow tap dancing . . . working mostly on smooth transitions and dynamics.

Today was the Women’s Conference, conceived and organized by Maria Shriver, here in Long Beach. I hadn’t realized it was that time of year until it was too late to register. I’m putting it on my calendar for next year so that I will be able to attend. You can go to the site and, I believe, view various sessions from the day’s schedule that included speakers like Condoleezza Rice, Annie Liebovitz and Madeleine Albright. The conference focused on women as Architects of Change, recognizing women for our empowerment in effecting change.

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flu vaccine and service dog training continues

Today, I got my seasonal flu shot at my place of employment. We had hoped that I could get both the seasonal and H1N1 shots at the same time, but UCI does not yet have a supply of the H1N1 vaccine. After finding a location that will have the vaccine here in Long Beach on Wednesday, I’m planning to get the H1N1 shot then.

Since I planned to spend a few hours at my office today, and knowing I’d be a little stronger than usual because of my chemo break, I thought it would be a good day to take Buster, my service dog in training, to work with me. On days that I’m feeling strong, I am hoping to get around with less help from my walker and more help from Buster. Even without a harness, he is tall enough for me to be able to brace myself for steadiness. But, I am searching for a good support harness for him, one that will be comfortable for him.

I took plenty of treats to reinforce his training and hoped for the best. It was early when we first arrived, so I walked him around the empty office suite so he could sniff around and get accustomed to the new environment. When we settled down in my office, he laid down and spent the rest of the time relaxed–a very typical behavior for Buster.

One of the recommendations of training for service dogs is to introduce them to new environments gradually, so you take them to new places, when possible, during quiet times when there are fewer distractions. With Buster, I think he will do well no matter where I take him because we routinely take him out in Long Beach where he’s exposed to a lot of distractions. We have consistently reinforced his training in conditions that are distracting, and he is learning very well to obey his commands in those circumstances.

Training a dog to be a good service companion requires learning not just on the part of the animal. I am learning a lot about training and expectations. For example, training a service dog is not a month-long endeavor. It takes a long time to train a dog to be an excellent service dog and companion. Today was a rewarding experience as Buster seemed to like the experience and remembered his commands, needing little repetition or reinforcement with treats. All the same, I praised him a lot and gave him treats to reinforce that he was behaving well. Hmmm, maybe he has trained me well.

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free day

Since the performance of Rhapsody In Taps last night at LA’s Aratani/Japanese America Theatre, I have had a surge of adrenalin. I slept well, dreaming about dance. When I woke up this morning at 6:30, I tried to go back to sleep but found that impossible. So, I decided to get out early and enjoy the gorgeous morning.

My day started at Claire’s cafe at the Long Beach Museum of Art. It was early enough that I was, at first, the only customer. They have perfectly strong, smooth coffee with a heavenly aroma. I shot a few photos but mostly sat at my table enjoying my coffee and writing. Pure bliss.

I ordered breakfast: two eggs and a pancake and fresh orange juice. As the waiter brought my meal, two guys followed the hostess to the table next to me. Great. One guy has what I call a megaphone voice and launches into the design foibles of his friend’s new condo. Thankfully, I was able to tune him out and concentrate on the morning fog’s melting into the ocean. Soon it was sunny, and I’d finished my morning’s dose of coffee and writing. Off to a new place for my pedicure and then the art supply store and finally to get a little frozen yogurt.

Other than about an hour’s worth of chores to save myself from feeling guilty from too much self indulgence, I spent the day totally free from thinking about you know what.

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inspired to tap dance

Tonight we went to the annual performance of the tap dance company, Rhapsody In Taps. I am again, as usual, awestruck.

Now, I cannot stop tapping my feet as I sit here writing nor can I stop choreographing in my head. It is impossible to see, hear and feel the power of tap virtuosity without being inspired, and RIT, for me, epitomizes the best of tap dance. While I had not really questioned whether I need to continue dancing, the inspiration tonight reinforced the desire to not only express myself but to share it with other cancer survivors.

Going to head to bed and get ready to start choreographing tomorrow, thinking and dreaming of syncopating rhythms.

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H1N1 vaccine: update for cancer patients

For cancer patients the first course of action, of course, is to have the conversation with your oncologist about your own situation. It’s, also, a good idea to know a little about the H1N1 flu and the vaccine. Read more at the CDC links below. By all means, avoid paying attention to the hype, especially the anti-vaccine posts circulating throughout the social networks. Your doctors will advise you whether you need to have the vaccine; listen to their advice.

My oncologist and internal medicine PCP have advised me to get both the seasonal and the H1N1 flu vaccines. I work in a medical center, but I am not involved with patients. I work in administration away from the clinical setting, but I work with physicians who have contact with patients. My husband works in a setting where he comes in contact with a lot of people on a daily basis. My immune system is suppressed from my cancer treatment, currently a regimen of  Taxol®, a chemo drug, and Avastin®, a biological drug. Based on my risk and my suppressed immunity, my doctors advised me to get both vaccines in the form of a shot, which has inactivated virus, rather than the nasal spray, which has live cells. I will follow their advice.

My plan was to get the seasonal and the H1N1 vaccines, both in shot form (inactivated virus) at UCI, where I work and am also a patient, on Monday, the middle of a two-week break from chemo. UCI, however, will not have the vaccine until sometime in November. See the link below at www.flu.gov where I was just successful in finding a location to get the vaccine next week here in Long Beach.

UPDATE Marvin and I got both the seasonal and H1N1 flu vaccines. Several days since the vaccine we both have no side effects to report other than, initially, a little soreness at the vaccine site.

Click here to go to the CDC Web page on the H1N1 vaccine. When you go to this page, be sure to open Vaccine Fact Sheets on the two forms of the vaccine, the nasal spray and the shot.

Click here to go to the CDC’s Questions and Answers about the H1N1 flu

Click here to go to this helpful site, www.flu.gov, with a link on that page, Flu Shot Locator, that will find a place in your area offering seasonal and H1N1 vaccines. This is where I found a location for the H1N1 vaccine for myself. Be sure to call in advance if they have a number to verify they will be giving the shot you want at the site you want. Remember, as a member of the group with suppressed immunity, your doctor will likely recommend you get the shot and NOT the nasal spray.

Click here to go to the CDC’s Questions and Answers on the seasonal flu vaccine

 

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joy of simple communication

Conversation is one of the gifts of being human. I love not only language and its nuances, I love the various  forms of communication and expression. I think human communication is a privilege of our species. Today was a lovely example of this, and, specifically, of enjoying the social aspects of the work environment.

I’ve never really enjoyed isolation. In fact, if I have to stay in all day, it drives me crazy. I always feel like I need to get out. I need to see people. I need to converse. While going through treatment, though, some days I do spend my entire time inside. Even when that’s physically required, psychologically I still fight the idea of it.

Today was like being set free. For some reason, being around my office and with my coworkers was overwhelmingly delightful. It didn’t have anything to do with what we discussed or what we accomplished with the conversations. It mattered that I’m fortunate to be in an environment with people who are not just amazingly supportive but sensitive and fun. The jokes, the teasing, the greetings made me feel so refreshed that, even though I was exhausted by the end of the day, as usual, I went home feeling grateful to have the kind of job I do and to be able to work with the people in my environment. I feel blessed.

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advanced cancer: thriving

One part of this disease that is overwhelming is the way it demands your attention. After your doctor tells you that you have cancer, curable or incurable, you never really stop thinking about it. I shuffle it to the back of my thoughts so it’s like a software program running in the background. But, no matter what I do, this stupid cancer is a persistent prickling awareness.

Most of us have an arsenal of activities that distract our attention, and they work for us in varying degrees and under varying circumstances. Some days we may have only enough strength to evade cancer’s oppressive mood or to cope with the physical demands of the disease or its treatment. Cancer is a potent foe.

Yet, it’s important that we reach toward other goals in our lives. It helps us to thrive and to endure the emotional, psychological and physical effects of the disease and the treatment. Having goals and making steps toward accomplishing those goals help us focus away from the negativity of those effects and to build and maintain emotional and psychological strength. While the jury is still out on whether a positive outlook directly benefits survival or prevents disease progression (see my post depression and survival), the experts still advise us that a positive attitude will help us cope. For those who have curable cancer, studies show, also, that survivors with a positive attitude make a gentler transition back to a normal life.

Whatever our goals have been, it’s important to adapt them to our current levels of energy. Exercise. Learn. Teach. Create. Pray. Play. For however long you can tolerate it, whether it’s five, ten or fifteen minutes. Keep working toward ongoing goals you have had or create new goals, and don’t be afraid to try new activities that appeal to you. Let the other parts of your life help you so that cancer cannot dominate your life 24/7. I don’t know about you, but the days that I dance or walk, work or play, write or meditate, I feel stronger and pleasantly tired. And, I feel that I’ve laughed in the face of the pink demon.

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side effects vying for attention

Today my side effects just won’t quit. I woke up with them, and they hung around all day like bad company. I nearly called in sick, but, instead, I decided to make a little pasta primavera in the hope that it would help, at least, the yucky tummy. Some nice, bowtie pasta and broccoli and spinach with olive oil, a little garlic and freshly grated parmesan.

My tastebuds are all messed up: they’re on fire with any amount of spice but absolutely numb with just about anything else. It feels like only the tastebuds around the edge of my tongue are working, so I can’t really taste anything as I eat it. Still, good nutrition is important even when you can’t taste it. I try to eat foods that are not too abrasive for the sensitivity, so I cook foods that are gentle enough but still have some taste. I love garlic, but raw garlic is just too harsh right now. Garlic, however, loses its bite with cooking, so I can enjoy the flavor and nutritional benefits without the sting. While I terribly miss crispy, raw salads, which are not a good idea when immune suppressed, neither my mouth nor my digestive system could tolerate them, anyway.

Tummy calmed down, so the pasta was a hit.

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