cancer, courage, coping

“Courage is being scared to death but saddling up anyway.” John Wayne

Never really thought I’d be quoting John Wayne, but there you are. That’s the way some days are when your doctor gives you the dreaded news that you have incurable . . . whatever.

Damn it. I  do not want cancer. I have too much to do. I did not ever think that I’d be using a walker, until I was, at least, ninety-something. What the hell. What does he mean, they couldn’t remove all of the tumor.

How’s your pain.

Every pain sets off the alarms. Are the leftovers from the stupid tumor growing? Is it a new tumor? Is the lion sneaking up on me again . . .

It’s a day of questioning and doubts. Cancer sucks.

watch me dance, lion,
sit back and relax–I will
dance us both to sleep

you can scare me just
a little, but I won’t let
you own my courage

i can still dance and
know it gives me more life, more
courage to face you

put on my tap shoes
make rhythms that draw courage
yes, i have power

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