body feels rhythm lusting to express itself dance is ecstasy ♦ ♦
Today I have been listening to Chick Corea’s The Ultimate Adventure. I slide into another world when I hear his music. Whether I’m writing or doing calligraphy or, of course, dancing, his music carries me anywhere I want to go. I cannot stop listening to him.
With my physical limitations I cannot create the movements as I once did, so I dance in my head in the way I used to move. When I try to dance now, as wobbly as I am most of the time, I don’t try to adapt what I used to do but to choreograph strictly for what I can do now. It’s weird because it’s like having a whole set of words that you cannot use because they are forbidden. Sometimes it makes me totally crazy. Movements that are still in my muscle memory are no longer at my disposal. All the twisting and turning and leaping and rolling to the floor still want to come out, but I cannot allow it. Don’t want any of those screws for the titanium in my back loosening up or popping. Despite the stiffness that the bars impose on my spine to support my vertebrae, I like my metal back; it’s a reminder that I’m lucky to be walking. Yeah, biotechnology is great.
One little joy I have, however, is that I can do a very, very gentle sideways body roll; if you have trained in modern dance, you know what I mean. No real rib or hip isolations, because they require too much spine flexibility, but I can do a teensy lateral body roll. Absolutely no forward rolls or backbends with this back: only in my head. But those little sideways rolls: what a silly little thrill.
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