I was feeling good yesterday at the infusion center with the lasting afterglow of a PET scan yield of no progression. Those two words ring constantly in my head, making me feel as though I’m dancing across a lucky bridge. I am grateful beyond words for all of the parts of my life that are helping me to thrive through this time in my life.
- A PET scan showing no progression.
- A family that is caring even though they are far away. We don’t see each other, but it doesn’t matter to me. I can feel their love, and that counts more than anything. Often little texts here and there and e-mail that says “thinking of you” is more important than a long conversation. Hehe, I’m very grateful for text messaging and e-mail for sure.
- An oncology team led by my oncologist who is aggressive in treating her patients and sensitive as well.
- Friends near and far who support me in many intangible ways. Sometimes they make me laugh; sometimes they let me cry. Sometimes they see me at my worst and do not judge.
- My parents, who are now both gone (Dad passed in late April earlier this year), who were tough and thus taught me so much about being strong. Cancer is not for wimps.
- My husband who is always my hero. I don’t know how else to say it because he is there in every way. We talk—ok, ok, sometimes I talk, he listens and listens—and laugh about the most absurd aspects of what we’re experiencing. I could not have a better caregiver. He is frank, open, funny and always sensitive to me, no matter how much or little I’m revealing. He has a gift for sharing without patronizing or minimizing my concerns, and he can make me laugh till I gasp even about cancer’s morbid issues.
Still, no matter how lucky I feel because my life is blessed with so much that makes me thrive, I constantly think about my metsisters and brothers online and at my infusion center who are walking down a rough path right now. And I grieve over the loss of those who are taken from us by this ravenous disease. RIP Rivka. I love them all though they don’t even know who I am. I would gladly share the blessings I have to help smooth those rocky roads, yet all I can do is cry in silence for their suffering and pray that they will soon reach a smooth pass.
Thankful to be dancing along,
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