no winning points

I had an encounter recently that left me wondering whether I should have responded differently. In an online group, which has its share of people who complain about the most trivial of issues, someone made a comment that was phrased in a way that I can only describe as a major whine. Her comment was part of a discussion in which I was involved, so I responded that sometimes it is best to sit back and enjoy the benefits of the program we were enjoying rather than look for fault.

Her comeback was quick and acetic. She said something like, Well, I’m just the kind of person who has to fight because I have a neurologic disorder and cannot walk a straight line. If you had to deal with what I have to deal with, you would fight, too. I answered that it might be a good idea for her not to presume anything about anyone in the group, and whatever else I had to say pertaining to the subject we were discussing. She again responded that not only did she have her own issues, her cat had cancer and has to endure treatments that I wouldn’t have any idea about.

My friend said, Did you tell her about yourself. I did not. Another friend said I should have because she thought it would teach this person a lesson that you should never assume anything about others. It crossed my mind at the time, but I’m not really interested in pimping out my MBC, so to speak, to teach someone a lesson in life or to win points in a debate. Besides, most of the time I just want to think about everything but cancer.

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© 2004-2011 Donna Peach. All rights reserved.


2 responses to “no winning points

  1. Kudos to you.

  2. It’s a hard line to walk. I think you are right to check with your gut and do what feels best to you at the time. On the one hand, I agree with your friends that it might have been a good lesson to the person in question, a sort of instant sensitivity training session. On the other hand, it isn’t your job to teach the entire world, or to rescue every person from their own foolishness… besides which, you are already doing a great deal of that with your blog, and you deserve a break once in a while.

    So definitely do the gut-check, and then go forward confidently, knowing that you did the right thing for that moment, for yourself. As you know, in the end you are the only one who can really know what you need!!

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