Yesterday was day two of ten radiation treatment sessions, and it felt like the cement roller made a few passes over me. My first radiation was in 2004, too long ago to remember the details. So, I looked back to what I wrote about that experience. The fatigue hit me only a week into the treatment; this time, it feels as though it has already begun. When I spoke with my technicians, they said my treatment is short but strong. They seemed not surprised at my report that I was falling asleep on day 1 and found it hard to stay awake the rest of the day. Yesterday, following treatment, I nearly fell asleep in the car on the way home.
Today was a bit better as far as that feeling of immediate need to sleep. I napped a bit, but I can feel a slightly less pervasive sense of fatigue. Yesterday I actually fell asleep in the middle of writing a haiku. For goodness’ sake a haiku is a mere three lines of poetry: how could I fall asleep in the middle of that. So, I gave in and climbed into bed where I slept two hours and awoke only when my husband returned home from work. My pain medication had worn off during that time, and the band of pain was shrieking at me from shoulder blade to shoulder blade. Up to now the left side has been worse; yesterday was the first time the right was actually worse with the similar burning, piercing pain that attacks the left shoulder blade. Thank goodness the medication helps, though it takes longer when I take my dose late. I wonder when the radiation will begin to reduce the pain.
This weekend will be just an imaginary romp on the beach fringed with beautiful red poppies swaying in the ocean breeze. That is all I can think of and all I want to do at the moment and maybe some reading. But nothing about cancer. Watching wild life cams online with magnificent bald eagles and a precious pair of owls mating in a tiny box carrying on with life in a world wild and new to me and beautifully soothing.
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