What is the best way to deal with this disease when it jumps on its journey traveling around the body ready to jump off somewhere unknown. I usually refuse to think about it at all. I ignore it at all costs and concentrate on the parts of my life that I like. When it feels like it is in attack mode, as it feels now, it is hard to ignore. I find it hard to stop wondering where it is trying to plant its gnarly grubby roots. I try to read about all the possibilities, yet that becomes exhausting. Brain mets, leptomeningeal carcinomatosis, spinal cord and spinal fluid mets. My mets mostly started in the spine with my first surgery extensively repairing and rebuilding my vertebrae after scraping tumor off of the spinal cord. It scared me then, but I learned to take it all one baby step at a time.
Now, the little breeding monster is pushing up and down my spine and, possibly other places, though I am hoping not. Next come the diagnostic tests to find out where it is going. First, a three-hour MRI with contrast of the brain and complete spine; depending on the results, next will be a spinal tap to check the spinal fluid for mets. Then comes the CT of my chest and abdomen. In between all of this we hope to add some radiation treatment to my lower spine and sacrum to diminish the tumor and pain in the left hip and leg. I think we will stick with the exemestane, and maybe later everolimus in combination, since my body does seem to respond positively to hormone (ER positive) systemic treatment. That could change if the diagnostics show metastasis elsewhere.
Today, after reading about an hour here and there to learn about such progressions, I needed a break. Somehow I never felt the stirring to return to that subject matter, and instead, I played Angry Birds, which seemed fitting, and watching wild life web cams of owls and eagles hatching. Thinking of new life is always refreshing. Now I just want to dive into a deep sleep.
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