Someone mentioned the other day going for a walk, and I thought that it would be heaven indeed to be able to walk well enough to do that. I mean a real walk, not a walk with me riding my scooter. I remember when walking was such a light-weight exercise as to be not an option for me. It had to be much more vigorous and much more strenuous, though my mind is realizing that that is part of the distant past. Still, I think it is interesting that I continue to dream as a healthy and fit version of me. I like that as it allows me to live in the sometimes pretend version of my life that I find inviting and comforting. Daydreaming there, too, is just as wholesome as it gives me a break from the reality.
Realizing how coloring is not only good for exercising the fine motor movement with my right hand but for the sheer fun of it, I also believe that kids should not be the only ones who get to enjoy the activity of pretending. We may call it by different names to be grown-up about it, but it is all about pretending. Using the imagination. Brain storming, thinking outside the box, entertaining the notion. What are all of these except pretending. That’s really what they are. Pretending to know the answer no matter how wild the idea. It all boils down to the same process. I think we ought to enjoy it for what it is and do it a lot more freely as well as for the sheer enjoyment of engaging in that activity. Like coloring. As adults we have too many needs not to recognize the value of pretending.
With metastatic cancer pretending is one of the most valuable resources we have. If I do not want to think about this blasted disease, I pretend. Pretend I am somewhere else. Pretend I am living without cancer. Pretend I am leaping through the air. Pretend I am sliding through a floor move in dance. Pretend I am climbing a tree. Pretend I am jumping out of an airplane. Pretend I am bungee jumping. Pretend I am rock climbing the tallest cliff. With MBC it is an escape like no other, and for me it is one of the best places to go. I hate this disease and what it has done to my body and my life, but, worse than that, I hate giving any time to that negativity. I deny cancer that much of my life and choose to pretend that it is not even here in my life to begin with. I don’t know whether it works for others the way it does for me, but I use it a lot and meditate with that in mind when I need to focus actively on something other than a calm and beautiful safe zone. I meditate on a pretend place where I am vibrant and ready for trouble. Ready to explore. Ready for adventure. And cancer is another kind of adventure but not always the one to think about when I want to elicit some fun and excitement. Pretending is good for that. I always feel better after I come back afterward.
I think that’s where I am going now.5 6 7 8 © 2004–2012 Donna Peach. All rights reserved.