Xeloda 4.10.4 unwilling hostage

fear perches itself / at every crease in my brain / holding me hostage ♦
♦     ♦     ♦     ♦     ♦  

The next step in dealing with my current breathing issues, caused by a lot of fluid in my left lung, is a thoracentesis tomorrow morning. I will be glad to be able to breathe with some relief after that, so I am looking forward to the procedure itself. The image shows my x-ray on the right from April and on the left from Monday. For anyone wondering, the white railroad is the titanium bars in my back from the surgery to remove damage from extensive  tumor on 1-30-09.After that, I’m guessing, I will need some discussion with my oncologist after they determine the cause of this fluid in the lungs and whether it warrants a change in my treatment. I am not thinking that far ahead because I want to concentrate on this just one step at a time until I can talk with my oncologist who always leads me down the path of enlightenment.

I hate being scared and stopped reading material online as soon as I came across the bad news about malignant pleural effusion. I won’t discuss any of it now as I am trying to remain calm and think positive. My procedure is tomorrow morning, so right now I am only anticipating getting through this immediate crisis and being able to breathe freely again. One step at a time, and tomorrow is the first step of this fork in the road.

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© 2004–2012 Donna Peach. All rights reserved.

6 responses to “Xeloda 4.10.4 unwilling hostage

  1. Donna,
    I love you, admire you… and I’m not the only one. I can’t imagine what this kind of Hell is like. You’ve been in my prayers and I will wait, anticipating word from you.


  2. I will be thinking of you tomorrow…….Jacky

  3. Roni (RaptorRapture)

    Hang on there, Pretty Lady! Could be nothing more than a build up from inactivity….so let’s not jump any hurdles we do not have to jump. In the meantime, you have owl wings and the positive thoughts of all those who love and adore you to comfort you. I will be there tomorrow, holding your hand in my heasrt, and I will send along a friend to help you, also. I will have to email that photo since it won’t let me post it here I am sure. Hugs and hugs to you.

  4. Thinking of you tonight and sending love.

  5. Good luck. I hope today goes easy and gives you some relief. Just stay mindful. One step, one day, one hour, one minute, at a time. It’s the only way to keep your brain from thinking ten scary steps ahead.

  6. I hope today goes smooth and your breathing can return. I agree with your approach about dealing with one issue at a time. Sending you thoughts of light and hugs. xoxoxxo-Susan

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