UPDATE day 5 admit

I have to say that every time I say that I do not like the battle metaphors for stage 4 cancer, I deal with a crisis that denies my feelings that I am not a warrior. It certain feels like I’m fighting to get better and to get out of the hospital, and I cannot think of either a gentler way to express it nor one that seems as appropriate. I think when life is more settled, I think of myself more as a veteran than a warrior, but right now all I need is the rapier to complete my mental image.

Yesterday the oncology team told me that we might be changing my plan for treatment. Instead of trying to get me back on chemo, which seems to be running into constant threats from these nuisance infections and treatments, they are going to put me on a hormonal drug, Foreston®, a sort of relative to Tamoxifen®. I do not yet have any further details, but the team seemed to think they might be starting this new treatment in the next couple of days.

Last night I slept without oxygen for the first time, and my oxygen readings remained normal and stable throughout the night. Granted I did not sleep too much because they were in and out quite a bit for various reasons last night, I hope it’s a good sign that the fluid is draining sufficiently to enable me to breathe more easily. I managed to walk a little bit in the room yesterday, though I was very tired most of the day. I think I was worn out from the previous day’s news and activities.

Physical therapy is due to work with me today, so that means I get to leave the room and walk around a bit. I need that desperately because my legs are pretty weak. I do some exercises in the bed, but the walking seems to be the best exercise for me currently.

One happy note was that one of the aides who works often in the infusion center is working here on this floor today, and when she saw me, came to my room to give me a hug. She is very sweet and has a cheerful disposition, so that was a high point in my morning.

Projected I am going home today.

12 responses to “UPDATE day 5 admit

  1. Hi dear Lady! You have always been a warrior to me! And someone who inspires me greatly everyday. So happy to hear you are breathing better, but wish they would leave you be at night! Sending my love and prayers to you both. And of course dreams of dancing in between all those interruptions at night! ♥

  2. purdyfarmsbecky

    Yeah!! I hope you will be having Marvin’s great coffee tomorrow morning!

  3. I’ve never understood the “warrior/battling” issue. Cancer is absolutely a disease we fight with all of our might. I’m proud to be a warrior/fighter.

  4. It’s good that they have developed a plan. Hope they release you before bedtime so you can get better rest. Love, hug’s and best wishes.

  5. Keep up your determination to get stronger. You are doing a great job of that 🙂 Prayers never cease for both of you. Will cross my fingers that today you will be able to go back home 🙂

  6. I think the warrior image is just fine. I think this new drug sounds like a better choice with all that you have been through. Just hoping you get some walking today and get to go home. To both of you I send my good thoughts and prayers. I wish I could give you the biggest hug in person. You are truly amazing! XoXoXo-Susan

  7. That is good news, Donna!

  8. My dear peachy lady you can be what ever you want to be warrior, veteran
    or a strip tease dancer you have won the right lol you have earned the right.
    hope you get to spend the night in your own bed tonight .still calling out.
    your name .

  9. If you want to think of yourself as a warrior than so be it. I think of myself as a fighter. I know these are battle and war terms but we DO battle. Some people are oversensitive on this stuff. Give me a better term. We are in our own private war with our bodies and we mean to be the victor.

    Glad to hear you are getting some PT today and that you got that big hug from the nurse from infusion

  10. Wondering if you are home Donna and dreaming sipping Marvin’s delicious coffee in 8 hours or so! Maybe you are still at UCI to begin the new hormone treatment! Well, wherever you are, I send love and prayer and hugs and positive energy and affirmations for peace and rest!

  11. Valerie Kaeppler

    Thinking of you daily Donna. I do hope you get to go home soon.
    You have been thru so much and for once I hope this all brings you some smooth sailing time. Hope the new hormonal works!
    Much love and many hugs to you.
    Valerie in NM

  12. Warrior Queen, Wonder Woman, Isis, Zena…whatever it takes!!! Sending warm thoughts.
    JoAnn in NOLA, but originally from Michigan 🙂

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