maintaining positive thinking

The last few months have had a frightening effect on my overall positive attitude. Too much news about my cancer’s progression, sad eyes from those delivering the news and the recognition that my cancer has changed from a slow-growing type to a more aggressive type have all taken a toll while being in the hospital and at home with many crises.

I am home now and appreciating every moment of it. Feeling like I can breathe freely for the first time in a while is truly awesome, though reality reminds me that it can change in a moment. Too often this occurs with mets. Too often I have felt I was having a good day only to end up in the hospital by the end of the day. Still, I am working hard at ignoring the feelings of that tingly fear that grips so tightly at moments one feels like breathing is difficult. I am doing all I can to distract myself from the discomforts of this disease and concentrating on the delights of living and being at home with the love of my life.

Today I did a single chore with the bathroom sink and felt myself rejoicing in that accomplishment. I think: one chore today, two tomorrow and so on. I look forward to growing in strength and being able to regain some of my former ability to do things around the house—maybe cook or bake. Yesterday we went to a movie, and I walked a bit (always with my walker, of course) and felt quite empowered, though exhausted afterward. Doing. That always seems to make me feel as though I am improving. Lying in bed just does not cut it, frankly, and, physically speaking, it makes one weaker and one’s breathing harder because the lungs cannot expand as they do when you are sitting upright, or, better, standing, or, best, walking.

Today my goal is thinking only about the good aspects of my life and, well, doing. Doing something. Doing anything. Simply doing. It makes me feel better and certainly more normal, whatever that means.

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© 2004–12 Donna Peach. All rights reserved.
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11 responses to “maintaining positive thinking

  1. And yet here you are, Donna…doing…posting, writing, thinking, crying, laughing. It’s what we all do. There is no day given to any of us. Even those who are not undergoing a treatment such as you live with the prospect of falling, car accidents, and the like. So every day must be given it’s respect, no matter the status of the person who owns that day. But you do own yours. You grab it, take hold of it, fight with it. And eventually you get the best from it. Every time I read your words, you have taught me something. Every time I see your pictures, I am reminded of what i have and do not have and how I learned to live with that. you inspire. You teach. You command. I love all those things about you. I hope today goes well, and you find yourself up for a cup of te, a small sandwich, a salad, an apple. Something that puts the life sustaining nutrients back into you, because you burn them up by giving out your energy to us. Hugs and love and owl wings and eagles eyes. I feel the breeze of your body as you dance on by me…
    ..

  2. So happy to read you are getting out and doing, doing, doing! You brighten my day and I also learn from you. You will never know how much you have touched my life dear Lady! Sending my love and prayers to you both. And wishes of dreams of dancing! ♥

  3. I am so tickled to hear that you went to a movie! And isn’t getting one thing DONE so wonderful! Keep on doing, girl!

  4. Hi Donna, I’m wondering what movie you saw?? Here’s to lots more “doing”! Big hugs to you!

  5. I can not put in words how much I have admired your determination to keep on fighting the ‘good fight’. You never cease to amaze me. Every day each of us is given a gift of life for that day. No one knows when it will be our last. We just are not as aware of our gift as you are. Keep on doing, because you do it so well.. Prayers and Hugs as always

  6. john_cordy@yahoo.com

    Ditto to All above….Love to you everyday along with positive energy!

  7. Sunshine and hugs coming your way!

  8. Keep doing. That goes a long way. {{{ Hugs to you }}}

  9. Just keep on thinking positive Peachy lady love you and calling your name

  10. Keep doing and keep dancing. I will dance with you. I wish I could reach through the screen and give you a big hug!

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